Monthly Archives: August 2012

The Sex Conversation

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My husband and I spent the weekend with friends of ours and another couple.  It’s worth mentioning because we, adults in our 40s, 50s, and 60s, all talked openly about sex, attraction, turn-ons, vibrators, and more.

We all agreed that our society is rather constipated when it comes to sex and communicating openly about it.  Sex is as important to life and relationship as is sleeping or eating and yet we as a culture shun real conversation about it.  There is much to learn from each other.

Expectantly, the conversation evolved into a discussion about my novels and my motivation for writing them. You can read my previous blogs to read about that. The pleasant part of people asking me about my motives is that I’ve gotten over the embarrassment of what people will think of me because of what I have written. Some will think me a sex fiend and I’m okay with that. Others will understand the depth of character exploration and appreciate the journey.

I am enjoying a newfound freedom of exchange of ideas with openness that until My Body-His had eluded me. I want to thank everyone who participated in these open discussions this weekend and…please open your own discussions right here by making a comment or asking a question. This is a good place to start anew.

The Power of Empathy

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Recently I was sitting with a couple of my girlfriends who asked in subtle terms how I could write on the subject of BDSM? “I mean, you don’t really live that lifestyle, do you?” “No,” I said, honestly.

I believe, in the heart of every fiction writer dwells the power of empathy. We create characters, give them names and identities and place them in crazy situations. As an author, I have to listen carefully to my characters once underway because as they get involved with one another they tell me things about who they are and what they need. Everyone is just trying to make the best of what they have been dealt and if I listen carefully enough I can empathize with their circumstances and share that on the page. When Jane feels…I feel it as well.

I’m not discounting research when necessary but at some point the research has to meld into a palpable situation I can feel so you can feel it too.

Maybe empathy is why I can’t watch violence, torture or gore in movies and TV. I can’t tell you the number of movies where I have had my eyes closed for parts of the film.

Authors write about all sorts of subjects whether or not they have direct experience with them. Fortunately I finally figured out a good use for my vast imagination. At least I hope you all think so. 😉

50 Shades of Grey

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I have heard all kinds of opinions regarding 50 Shades of Grey by E L James but I think what speaks the loudest is the voluminous book sales.  Whether the writing is on par with literature isn’t really the point.  People, most especially women, are eating it up.

I did read the first book just recently and enjoyed the tension she created between the main characters.  People have asked me how 50 Shades compares to my series and I respond by saying my novels are darker, have more tension, the characters are older, and there is more exploration regarding motivations.  The My Body Trilogy is erotic suspense and not erotic romance.

I recently read that since the 50 Shades phenomena hit, that rope sales have gone up nationwide.  I personally will champion anything that will support people to be less uptight about sex.   Since erotica is one of my favorite genres to read, I am hoping that the door the 50 Shades series has opened, remains open and we can be entertained by alternative relationships that until just recently were too taboo to be mainstream.  It would be nice for my series to walk through that open door as well.

Go E L James and 50 Shades!  Long live Mommy porn!

Hello World!

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I’m embarking on the next great adventure in my life, getting published. The first book in the My Body Trilogy will be available for purchase November 15th which is exciting and scary at the same time.  I started writing My Body-His over seven years ago and finished crafting the novel in 2008.  Work, motherhood, and life in general took over and MBH took a back seat.  Just recently my husband encouraged me to leave my stressful corporate job and really focus on writing and getting published.  Thank you, my love! Thank you, FannyPress!

Although I wrote my novel(s) before 50 Shades of Grey hit the stands and people might assume I wrote them after the fact, I’m grateful that 50 Shades has open the door for more racy mainstream erotica and more specifically (I’m hoping) my erotic suspense trilogy. Let Mommy porn thrive….

I find it very interesting that people who hear about my BDSM trilogy seem to assume that Jane, the main female character, is based on me.  I’m certain people don’t assume my husband is a time traveler since he is writing about one in his Geared to the Present series.  If he is, I’m not telling. 😉

The truth is that I have an active imagination and a fascination with the lifestyle but don’t personally live it.  I have done a lot of research online including reading a plethora of erotica and speaking to men who consider themselves full-time Doms.  In my mid 20s a girlfriend of mine and I interviewed a Dom/sub couple which planted the original seed for the series.

What intrigues me the most is exploring the conflict between how the body responds to stimulation and how our mind endeavors to sort out what is considered right and wrong. Jane struggles through the series not only to figure out who she really is but also accept what she has come to realize about herself.

I hope you will enjoy reading My Body-His when the first novel comes out November 15th.