Does Writing a Sex Scene Turn You On?

turned-on-womanI have participated in many interviews, however a close male friend of mine asked me one of the best questions I have ever been asked. “Is writing a sex scene mechanical or does it turn you on?” Here is what I said, “If it’s not turning me on, then I’m doing something wrong.” Do I orgasm when I’m writing a sex scene? No, but that would be a nice perk. LOL!

In every way I feel what my characters are feeling. So when Lainie’s heart is breaking in Bittersweet Deceit, I’m crying with her. When she’s laughing or making a joke, I sometimes crack up too.

I believe if you’re feeling your story as you’re writing it, your readers will feel it as well. It’s not enough to be good at writing dialogue or description or even the mechanics of a sex scene, the reader needs to be taken on a journey of the senses. I connect with my characters and I empathize with each and every one of them to give my readers the most realistic experience, allowing them to be a voyeur or to inhabit the protagonist’s life.

So yes when writing a sex scene I do get turned on. It’s actually a great barometer. If I’m only feeling mildly hot then I need to ramp up the scene.

As my readers have said, my novels contain a lot of hot sex and drama, which take them on a ride they can’t put down until the last page. That’s always my goal.

Warm hugs,


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5 thoughts on “Does Writing a Sex Scene Turn You On?

  1. Something I’ve always wondered about, so I’m glad someone asked the question. Since I don’t write them, I haven’t had the pleasure, but it might be worth trying. Even if I did have to edit it down to a single line once I was done 😉

  2. Thanks for this piece, Blakely! I thought I was the only one . . .

    But seriously, I agree: If I’m writing a sex scene, or a dramatic scene, sad scene, ANY scene, and I don’t feel what the characters are feeling, I’m not doing my job correctly. Consequently, I go through a lot of tissue. That’s part of the job. Thanks for speaking to the question. Now I don’t feel so weird!

    • Hi Deanndra,

      Thank you so much for commenting! It really was one of the best questions I have ever been asked. I, too, weep with my characters. I agree with everything you said.

      Warm hugs,

  3. I must admit I do get excited about the sex scenes that I write. I don’t write Romance novels, but my novels all have some pretty wild, hot and sexy romantic scenes. If it doesn’t excite you then how do you expect it to excite someone else? Now this all depends on your level of exposure of course; what seems like a blissful and erotic scene to me maybe a hayride to someone else, but I doubt it (lol).

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