Is Kissing a Talent or a Skill?

Kiss-kissing-22299177-1920-1080I’ve written a blog about kissing in the past and once again I feel inspired by the topic. A guy friend recently asked me if I thought kissing was a behavior that a person could learn to do better. I don’t exactly believe the old adage that practice makes perfect but I definitely believe that the more you do something, the better you get.

For me kissing is one of the best joys in life. I love the taste, smell, and feel of a kiss. I have been known to say that lip-locking is the gateway sex and the sure fire indicator of sexual compatibility. My husband and I have been kissing for nineteen years now and it’s a dance that still leaves me lightheaded and very much turned on.

I, for one, think kissing should happen often and not only as a start of sexual activity. Like hugging and cuddling, it shoots us full of lovely bonding chemicals and keeps couples close and more connected.

Portraying kissing in my novels is something that I strive to describe thoroughly and accurately without redundancy. It’s not always an easy task, but that’s the job of a good writer.

So is the kiss a teachable behavior or is it like two puzzle pieces that either fit together or don’t. Can our kissing evolve with enough practice? And who will judge? Maybe there is a perfect kisser out there for everyone.

Two kissers from my past stand out to me because of their not so great technique in my estimation. One guy used his tongue like a spear, making it very pointy and swirled his tongue around and around in my mouth. We dated very briefly. 😛 The second guy thought his tongue a sword and like to duel without lip-locking. Both styles fell into the realm of turn offs for me. Could I have coached them to kiss more to my preferences? Maybe, but how do you coach a kiss? What do you say to a “bad” kisser?

My husband feels that kissing is innate, a talent. According to him, great kissing is the ability to share a kiss with a woman that encourages her to weaken at the knees and causes her to pause to catch her breath.

What do you think? Do you think kissing is a talent or something that can be learned and cultivated? Have you been bold enough to tell your lovers how you prefer your kiss? Please share with us.

Warm hugs,


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4 thoughts on “Is Kissing a Talent or a Skill?

  1. Kissing is very important and remains a measure of true intimacy. It works best when it’s slow and tender at the start. I like to feel just the corner of my lips suckled at first. Anyone who really knows how to do it gets on speed-dial very quickly.

    It’s an innate skill for some. Others need to learn.

  2. Kissing is both a talent and a skill. Some are just talented naturally and know what type of kisses to give at the right moment. Others can research and acquire the skills over time. Practice makes perfect! The right kisses can go a long way depending on the situation…

  3. Two mouths may be open, but unless their hearts are open, kissing is but tongue Olympics and lip balm. I competed in all field events and the iron man games before I finally pole vaulted into His mouth, and no amount of champagne or strawberries could replace the fleshy mash of his lips and the perfect petting of his tongue.

  4. Ohhh great question! I am a kissing whore. I will kiss just about anyone! I would say kissing is part natural skill, but one could improve upon her technique. But, I think there comes a time where if you are still a bad kisser, it means you haven’t been observant enough to get better.

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