Limerence and/or NRE

“Limerence” and New Relationship Energy (NRE) is the state of biochemical pleasure that so many people crave and yet really don’t understand. It’s the very intense feelings you have in the beginning of a new relationship. Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence in 1979 in her book called, “Love and Limerence”.

Limerence can cause a whole host of behaviors from the more mild forms of being unable to focus, always thinking about the person of desire, checking your phone or email messages obsessively, and in the most extreme cases you might find a person resorting to stalking behaviors. NRE is a term used in the same vein but without the obsessive aspects.

Jane, most definitely suffers from limerence in My Body-His and confuses it with love.

Most people, like Jane’s character, are unconscious about what motivates their choices and decisions when in a limerent or NRE state and tend to confuse it with love. If people were more aware of the neurological effects, they could still enjoy the wonderful biochemical dance running through their blood stream but not succumb to the crazy behaviors or thought patterns that can manifest during the throes of unbridled hormonal passion best known as dopamine- the “LOVE” connection.

People, who tend to have very short-term relationships, are probably addicted to the limerent chemical rush and/or NRE. As soon as its effects begin to wear off, they move on to a “new” relationship. Hey, it’s good stuff and rumor has it that it can last up to 2 years. I’m here to testify that the good parts can last much, much longer when there is open and honest communication and ongoing intimacy. My husband and I still have it!

Limerence, not understood, can lead people to make bad choices for themselves like moving across the country for someone they barely know or getting married before they have figured out whether or not they are truly compatible or ending a long marriage over an affair.

I think NRE is great and know it can really work for people if they stay conscious enough to deal with it responsibly and knowledgably. Let love rule but don’t let it cloud your brain.

Warm hugs,


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