Evoking Attraction and Chemistry with the Written Word

As an author who loves to craft stories about relationships; attraction and chemistry are phenomena I spend a lot of time thinking about. For instance, how the energetic pull looks and feels and how I can best communicate it on the page.

When I was in my early 20s, I met a guy out dancing and when we locked eyes, I felt riveted. He was the worst kind of match for me but oh my god, the chemistry was insane. He was a rock star kisser as well which didn’t help matters. However, he was in a really bad place in his life and emotionally unavailable. Our chemistry felt so intense that I could feel him when he entered the club without being able to see him and he always seemed to know what I was thinking.

Years later, I saw him again and I couldn’t even conjure a shred of that crazy attraction I had felt with him. I had grown up and so had he and it just wasn’t there anymore.

I find attraction and chemistry to be baffling at times and very unpredictable. I have had chemistry in the past with men who I didn’t even particularly like and then zero with men who I found very good looking and appealing. It’s amazing to me that getting to know someone can totally change their appearance to me for the good or the bad.

At other times in my life there have been people who I really liked and enjoyed but found zero chemistry and I mean that for physical attraction but sometimes with friendship chemistry as well. A woman not long ago moved into our community and we hit it off instantly, quickly finding a place where we could share the REAL stuff that we are dealing with in life. It seems like we’ve been friends for years and at the same time there are many people I have known for years and have forged no real connection.

Luckily for me, I still feel incredible chemistry with my husband. That seems to die out for many people in long-term relationships but I would have to venture a guess that attraction wanes as the connection wanes. For us, we grow closer and more connected as time passes and we get to share more of life’s adventures together.

I believe attraction, chemistry and/or connection aren’t always a rational process. I think they live outside of the realm of the conscious mind.

I have often wondered if wild and crazy attraction is couple with an emotionally bad mix. I played with that very notion in the My Body Trilogy.

For me, humor, intelligence, affection, creativity, transparency and openness really attracts me to the people in my life. What about you? What attracts you or pulls you in? Have you had experiences with crazy chemistry?

This blog was inspired by an English friend I know who finds laughter to be one of most attractive aspects of a woman. Thanks Rupert for the suggestion. 🙂

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
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Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.

The Importance of Passion

What gets your pulse thudding and your blood pumping? What churns you to feel the drive of your desires? You might think I’m merely asking about sex and attraction however, I have been thinking a lot about passion lately on a few different levels. Like how it pertains to my writing because if there is one common denominator in erotica, it’s most probably the passion but also as it pertains to what truly motivates us in life and how it factors in our relationships.

I firmly believe when we are truly passionate about person, job, or anything else, we become highly motivated in acquiring or achieving. Not so long ago, when I worked in a corporate job, I thought most of the men I worked with and for were work-a-holics. However, I now understand that they were driven to succeed in an occupation where their passions lie. I can say this because I’m living my passion as a published author, highly driven toward success and my daughter now refers to me as the work-a-holic. I quickly shake it off, mostly because she really has no concept of hard work and how much time it can take. I probably work eight to ten hours a day between writing, editing, and social media and put time in on the weekends as well. I also take time off when I’m feeling burnt out so I don’t exhaust myself or my drive and I get to set my own hours so I can.

The importance of passion is very clear to me now. I believe we all need it to truly feel alive in our lives. It surely doesn’t have to be found in an occupation. It can be a hobby, family, exercise, or many other activities. I often wish I was as passionate about exercise as the marathon runners or long distance bikers. My passion for exercise and a firm body runs in a cycle from extremely focus and driven to drop a few pounds and build muscle to being a slug. Fortunately for me the slugdom phase is far shorter. Since moving out to the Northwest, I blame it on the winter and the lack of sun. Fortunately Spring is moving in as will be my resolve to drop five pounds of fat while adding at least as much in muscle mass. 🙂

As it pertains to writing, which I’m sure by now if you have read my novels or follow my site you understand how passionate I am regarding the written word. I strive to fully communicate the range of desire, attraction, flirtation, sex and longing. I recently watch a Bollywood movie that told the story of two sisters who fell in love and eventually married the men of their desire. The film depicted no sex or kissing and the only physical touch happened through hugging but they clearly showed longing, chemistry, and passion merely through facial expressions and eye contact. It made me consider how I communicate passion via the written word and how sometimes covert longing is more powerful than overt desire.

In relationship passion has amazing binding power and helps longevity. It’s definitely works that way for my husband and me (18 years and going strong). I do wonder why passion and desire seems to fade in many relationships and when I craft stories about relationships, I can’t help analyzing why one relationship can last for the long-term while others do not. This may sound silly to some, but I believe because my husband and I, even after all this time, never run out of things to talk about, we still enjoy spending time together. I’m sure having great chemistry is a huge help as well. 😉

I’ve known for a long time that writing is my passion and now I get to live it in a new exciting way. Thanks to all my friends, family, and fans that support me in making my passions my life.

What are you passionate about? How does it motivate you? Please share with me and my readers. Thanks!

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook by clicking here.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page by clicking here.
Find My Body-His (book one) for sale on Amazon here.
Find My Body-His Marcello (book two) on Amazon here.