Does Love Affect Your Sense of Smell?

SmellAs writer of erotica and romance, I work hard to include all the senses in the act of making love throughout my novels. Lying in bed this morning, snuggling with my husband, I pondered if loving someone amplifies the pleasure that comes from smelling their natural fragrance. I love my husband’s smell and prefer it over colognes, soaps and the over use of laundry soap fragrance. Go unscented! I could rant a whole blog on the over use of fake fragrances, but let’s not. 🙂

It could just be me, because I’m very olfactory sensitive, but I do think love changes how someone smells to you. Back in my twenties I remember how my ex-boyfriend’s smell altered as soon as we broke up. And in all honesty, I’ve wondered over the years how some of the people put up with their spouse’s breath and body odor.

There have been a few colognes that I’ve been fond of, but never more than my lover’s natural aroma. Most perfume (which I do not wear) and aftershaves make me sneeze so I tend to stay away from the stuff.

I do believe that as we’ve evolved, us humans, we have learned to rely less on our sense of smell. I think that’s a huge mistake. I can tell if my husband, or our cat for the matter, is stressed out based on their scent. Maybe we would make better love matches for ourselves if we didn’t douse ourselves with so many different fragrances. I’m not above it but I do keep it to a minimum. I use scented shampoo and condition and a mild smelling soap, but my deodorant and detergent are scent free.

I have known people who practically bath in perfume and their smell wafts toward you ten feet before they approach. To me it’s more like a shield than offering allure.

I, for one, could not have a lover whose aroma I didn’t enjoy. Sex for me definitely includes my olfactory system. My husband may say this is TMI, but I love the smell of sex. Such a turn on!

So back to the art of writing which is how I started this blog. When crafting a sex scene it’s important to make it very visual and easy for the reader to follow. For me it’s also important to include sound, touch, and smell which gives the setting dimension. At least for me as a reader, I have to get lost in the scene to get turned on and the more realism we can write in, the more easily accomplished.

So I’m very curious who else might have this experience with smell. Do you love your partner’s natural scent? Has that changed over the years? Do you like making love straight out of the shower or more like me, prefer it after the smell of soap has worn away?

I smell a story coming on. 😉 Please share your thoughts.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

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The Female Orgasm

OrgasmA long time male friend of mine and I have this ongoing debate about the female orgasm. According to him, almost all of his lovers have been able to orgasm vaginally and if you do the math, either he is extraordinarily lucky or has a wonder-schlong or a good percentage of the women were faking it. I believe and have expressed adamantly, that most of the women must have been faking it.

From several different sources I have found roughly the same statistic. 70%-80% percent of woman CANNOT have orgasms from intercourse alone. I, myself, fall into this category. In addition, several sources repeated this same sad statistic that 10-15 percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm at all. Continue reading

An Ode to My Husband

the-kiss-1904Okay, it’s not really a lyrical poem but I love the title. I feel so lucky to have my husband and want to let him know. He is working hard for us so I can write my novels, blogs, edit, and do social media without having to work at the same time. Our dream is to make enough money from our books so we both get to stay home and write to our hearts content.

I miss him when he is gone all day and the weekend is barely enough time to get my fill of him. The other day I said to him, “Every day I feel so exceedingly lucky that you are my best friend and partner in life,” and he said, “I feel exactly the same way about you.” How sweet is that?

We have been together eighteen years now and it just keeps getting better. It certainly hasn’t always been perfect and we’ve had to go through some growing pains together. Any long-term relationship must evolve or it dies, in my not so humble opinion. Fortunately for us, we seem to grow closer and closer together as time passes.

Why do I think my husband is so wonderful besides making it possible for me to be a full-time writer? Well in all honesty he is the best kisser and lover I have ever had. He still finds me sexy and attractive after all this time. He has loved me thinner than I am now and also heavier. There is no other person in the world I’d rather spend my time with and he showers me daily with affection. We kiss and hug goodbye in the morning and snuggle on the couch in the evening. He spoons me to sleep at night and we often share our dreams in the morning with my head on his chest.

Our daughter says we are like teenagers together, still very much in love. Not that long ago, she told us that a friend of ours and mother to her friend asked if we are really as happy as we seem. The mother assumed we acted one way around other people and another behind closed doors. My daughter said, “Nope, they’re always like that. They fight on the rare occasion but what you see is what you get.”

Some people have assumed that I have been through the experiences that I’ve written about in the My Body Trilogy. Sorry to let you down but it’s entirely fiction. Although I didn’t meet my husband until I was twenty-eight years old, I never had a Luke or Marcello in my life. I just have an overgrown, overactive, twisted imagination. 😉 Fortunately my husband loves how my mind works. He is the one who pushed me to try to get published again and is my greatest and most supportive fan.

Love is an important factor in relationship but don’t underestimate “like”. I not only love my husband dearly but I like him so much. He is the coolest person I know other than the kids.

Thank you, love, for being there for me and making our lives so yummy and juicy. I’m the luckiest woman I know.

Warm hugs,

Blakely

Please feel free to friend me on Facebook.
And follow the My Body Trilogy Facebook page.
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