I’m a masturbation enthusiast. I believe learning the ins and outs of yourself (so to speak) makes you a better lover and most definitely a better teacher for your partner on what works for you.
My husband recently shared with me an article called 13 Reasons Every Woman Should Masturbate Regularly. Before I delve into Alanna Vagianos’s reasons, I’d like to reiterate a couple of my own. Continue reading
Polishing the pearl is the phrase my husband and I use for massaging the clit. It can be of the masturbatory variety or partnering. “Honey, would you like me to polish your pearl in the morning?” or “Did you polish your pearl while I was at work?” YES and I sure did! A tongue can also polish the pearl and that is what brings me to this particular blog.
A young male friend of mine asked me for advice about good techniques for going down on a woman. What follows is what I said to him: Continue reading
A long time male friend of mine and I have this ongoing debate about the female orgasm. According to him, almost all of his lovers have been able to orgasm vaginally and if you do the math, either he is extraordinarily lucky or has a wonder-schlong or a good percentage of the women were faking it. I believe and have expressed adamantly, that most of the women must have been faking it.
From several different sources I have found roughly the same statistic. 70%-80% percent of woman CANNOT have orgasms from intercourse alone. I, myself, fall into this category. In addition, several sources repeated this same sad statistic that 10-15 percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm at all. Continue reading
I find it incredibly fun to discover something I had absolutely no idea about, especially when I also find it baffling.
Did you know that some men sometimes PREFER masturbating over having sex? I had to wrap my brain around that one. I can’t imagine preferring to masturbate over having sex and my husband concurs (thanks honey!).
So I was chatting online with a friend from England and he told me this gem of information. I thought it might just be him, that men in general couldn’t possibly feel that way. Me being me, I decided to check it out and I was blown away that several other men said the same thing.
Sometimes they would rather watch porn and ride the edge of orgasm than have sex with their wives. Maybe that is saying something about their sex lives at home, but I’m just guessing. One man said that the sex with his wife had become so routine (her choice) that sometimes he would rather play on his own and search for the perfect porn to watch. Another man said that he likes to look at pictures and make it last a long time. Another guy said that masturbation is a way for him to act out his true desires because his wife is repressed.
I am happy to say that more than half the men I spoke to said they would much rather have sex than masturbate. Since I had assumed it was a given, I still find it shocking that men would rather jerk off than make love, fuck or have sex with a partner.
I do wonder if it’s the same for women. That’s definitely something to ponder.
As a writer, I’m always on the hunt for new word choices to describe the sex act and our private parts. I wrote a rather funny blog, at least I think so anyway, about words for the female anatomy which you can find here: Pussy Willow
When it comes to masturbation, I believe it’s a healthy outlet and a great way to learn about your body so you can teach what you like to others. There are lots of interesting terms to describe the act. For instance (A big thanks to my friends from the Naught Book Club for helping me with my list!):
1. Hand job
2. Five knuckle shuffle
3. Jerking off
4. Rubbing one out
5. Playing with yourself
6. Flying solo
7. Beating off
8. Diddle
9. Jacking off
10. Jilling off (Thanks Amber)
11. Pet the pussy
12. Wank
13. Slap the salami
14. Choke the Chicken
15. Wack the sack
16. Shooting off
17. Friggin’
18. Popping your nuts
19. Rosey Palm and her five sisters
20. Cranking the shaft
21. Spanking the monkey
22. Polishing the pole
As you can see the list could be endless. Feel free to add yours in the comment section.
No matter what we call it, I believe it’s a wonderful release we can give to ourselves. And as long as it doesn’t become an all-consuming activity, I say, “Yank the pud, fer sure.”
Warm hugs,
Blakely
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