The Oral Dance

As an erotica writer, I’m fascinated by what turns people on and off regarding sex. I’ve heard from many guy friends over the years that their spouses or girlfriends don’t like to go “downtown” and I’m left to wonder why. Short of men not taking care of their hygiene, I don’t see why any woman would pass on giving head (an odd name … should it not be giving mouth?).

The “blowjob” is slang for oral sex, the act of putting an erect throbbing penis into one’s mouth for the purpose of causing a major eruption. It’s a rather silly name when you think about it. There’s no blowing and I don’t see the work involved. The only work comes when I’m crafting an enticing scene where a woman is orally pleasuring her man (or vice versa). Oral pleasure isn’t such a bad nickname. Fellatio isn’t bad either but somehow I can imagine it throwing someone out of the fantasy of a sex scene (although I do use it on occasion). For me fellate sounds more like a cooking technique.

I have also been told there is a discernible difference between a woman who enjoys giving a blowjob and one who doesn’t. The man knows. I can’t imagine that it’s very sexy to have your partner go down on you when they would really rather not.

A huge part of satisfying sex is communication (as I keep preaching) and the knowledge of what turns on your better half. Ask your partner what they like. Does he like it when you suck the head really hard or would he rather have you swirl your tongue around the rim? Maybe he likes all sorts of techniques, so mix it up.

We can’t finish this topic without talking about cum, sperm, spunk, ejaculate, etc. I’ve heard that many people do not care to swallow. There was an interesting poll on Goodreads asking, what do you think of spunk in your erotic reading and it made me realize that in my erotica, cum is always captured by an orifice. The majority of responses fell into the category of cum landing on the back or chest. I’ll have to consider that in future writings. I think it’s sexy when a person loves the taste and smell of their partner.

Sucking cock is a fine art and I encourage every person with interest to find a way to enjoy satisfying your partner AND yourself in this way. It can be an incredible turn on for the giver too.

I am curious and would love to hear from you folks who don’t enjoy giving head (mouth). What are your reasons for not appreciating the oral dance? Have you had bad experiences in the past? Come on you can do it. Share your story with us.

Thanks for reading.

Warm hugs,


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8 thoughts on “The Oral Dance

  1. I think it’s really quite simple. Some of us derive pleasure from pleasing our partners and other’s don’t! And when someone enjoys what they are doing they typically get better and better at it!

  2. With what ever the experience i have in my life, I totally agree with what you said. For me i think smell of my partner(s) skin matter more then anything and I am not sure if some people just don’t like to give blow jobs just because of Hygiene of their partner. I personally like going down on my partner and who likes to go down on me. I also 100 % agree with what Mike said. “when someone enjoys what they are doing they typically get better and better at it”. I wished this article went on and on and on for ever lol. Thanks for this wonderful article Blakely and keep rocking as you always do.


  3. as a man, I absolutely love going down. But the swallow part is a bit different. As for the having it done to me, i like it, but i seem to be exquisitely aware of a woman wanting to do it or not. And for the record, as someone who has debated and such, i always chuckle inside when someone says, “that is a fallacious argument!” I seem to like it when a woman has that kind of argument 😉

  4. I have to admit, I’ve never received or given head, but I look forward to the day I get to share the amazing experience with a woman who is willing!

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