As much as I am the romantic, believe in true love and write about it all the time, I don’t believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight? Sure, that happens all the time. Chemistry, attraction, recognition, all I believe can happen in a moment’s notice. Love, nope.
Here’s a short tidbit that happened to me when I was twenty-three:
Across a very crowded dance floor, my eyes locked on a tall man, staring straight at me. My heart literally skipped a beat or two. It felt like I was no longer in control of my body as I floated toward him and he moved toward me. I couldn’t hear the loud music pounding in all the speakers that surrounded us. If it were a movie, we would have been moving in slow motion.
As soon as he spoke and introduced himself, all the sounds instantaneously rushed back in. I was giddy with the intensity of the moment, which lasted for the few hours we danced, talked and made out.
This, however, was no love story. We were not suited to each other at all. In those few moments though, it felt like it had the potential for everything and anything.
Don’t get me wrong. I do believe you can meet someone and “click” right away. I have friends I have met that way, but love is another thing entirely.
In my life, some of the best chemistry I’ve experienced was with men I could never have a relationship with. I’ve had chemistry with men I didn’t even find attractive. I’ve had chemistry with men I would never ever consider settling down with or loving.
Anyone who has read the Bound by Your Love Series is very familiar with Bond. He is the only character I’ve actually somewhat based on a real person. Boy did we have chemistry, but he was a mess of a man and I couldn’t/wouldn’t give him my heart. In his mind, I was the good girl to his bad boy. I still wonder if he’s alive or dead because he lived a very edgy life.
On the very same night I met the first man I mentioned above, I met my “Bond”. (I was having a good night.) Later, I went to check out this new club. After two in the morning, I walked into a mostly empty room. I sat at the bar and ordered water. “Bond” was already sitting at the bar (he worked there). He slid over to me and sparked up a conversation. And yes, the sparks definitely flew around us. That too wasn’t love or anything approaching love. We sort of dated for a while. He was a great booty call and a friend.
Love to me is a verb as well as an emotion. Love takes time and action. With every year I spend with my husband, my love deepens and becomes richer. The more I’m capable of loving him, the more love from him I can let in and so the cycle goes. It’s a truly beautiful thing that doesn’t happen in a second or mere minutes, but over a lifetime of laughing, sharing, snuggling, struggling, growing and even forgiving. It’s a love shaped over many years, many small moments and some huge ones too. Love is oh so powerful in so many ways. It’s like making it home safely every single day.
What do you think? Do you think it’s possible to fall in love at first sight? Did you fall in love when you first saw your partner? Are you still married or together? Share your stories with us.
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